Roll Over Beethoven

As I entered the bathroom in church on Sunday to do my standup routine, a voice from the water closet says "Hello"?
I responded "Hello" and could tell from the voice that it was this young boy of about 10 that never has a dull moment.
He shouted "Who is that?"
Feeling a bit uncomfortable I said "It's Brother Parker!"
In a moment of strain like he was having a movement Beethoven would be proud of he said,
"Hi Brooooother Parkerrrrr, it's (insert name here)." ugh ugh ugh.
Needless to say I did not respond for a moment because I was cracking up inside. I decided that it was better for him that I didn't or he might have popped a vein.

Is There A Doctor on This Plane?

Flew to New Orleans today and had the luck of sitting in the exit row. Unfortunately there was this couple in front of me in their 40s I guess and halfway thru the flight she starts digging in his ear...how gross is that. She had these long fingernails and kept looking under them to see if she had hit the jackpot. Then she starts going at his face like his nose or mouth...I couldn't really tell since they were in front of me.
She happens to look back at me and sees this puzzled look on my face, and sort of chuckles and I say...'Let me know when the rectal exam starts so I can close my eyes'.
She laughed thankfully...but I swear he was going to turn his head and cough any second.

I Missed the Memo

Haven't been to church at home in 3 weeks and you usually miss something like a new bishopric or some new quirky thing in the ward that you were unaware of. So there we are sitting and this new convert gets up to say the opening prayer and before I even had my eyes closed for the prayer it was over. He said help us get through the day. I didn't realize it was so tough to be there.
Looked at my wife and shrugged my shoulders. Then the person gets up to say the closing prayer and it too is short...like 10 seconds. I picked up the program to see if had been declared "short prayer day".
Sunday school the same thing...Sue said that she needed to remember that, in case she was asked in RS.
Well, as fate would have it...this brother who is a former Episcopal rector was asked to say the closing prayer who is known for his unique prayers and I said to myself...ah this will break the trend and save the day. NO!!!
"We thank the for revelation and give us more...In the name..." That was it. So we kept the tradition the rest of the day by just using prayer numbers...like prayer for food #44. Family prayer #37...Amen.

Smoked em on the Water

Well I have decided that 2 weeks on vacation is too long. You spend the first week trying to relax and the second worrying about what has gone wrong in your absence. Anyway, I don't know why I have this blog since the only ones that read it are my children.

Being able to spend time with my brother has been great and the fishing for the most part has been the best. As of today we have 166 crappie in the freezer (332 fillets) and 3 kitties (catfish).

We decided that last Friday was the best catch of crappie that we had ever experienced. 10 fish over 2 pounds and only 2 under a pound. That is what we call barn door crappie.

I have had the opportunity to say "bounce" many times because that is what Dad used to say when something went wrong. I told Reed Franklin that and he cracked up. I told him that I can only remember once that my Dad used a cuss word and Reed said that he never heard him cuss.

He used "bounce" instead. Get hung up on a tree "bounce"...the boat motor wouldn't start, "bounce"...you get the picture. Speaking of pictures, here are a few. Read em and weep!!!